Well, I'll start the blog off with an update of where Lana & I are at now. Lana is 5 months old. Born Friday May 13th, 2011 at 8:08am. Being born 4 weeks early I was really concerned about how healthy she would be, and if she would have any trouble reaching her milestones. She has amazed me from Day One. She has not only been a healthy girl, she has been developing as if she was never born a preemie! I could not be more proud of this little firecracker. She has shown me that if she wants something, she tries her hardest to make it happen (making her appearance a month early should have given me a clue...)
Currently Lana is starting to develop her spunky little personality. She is such a happy girl, constantly smiling and starting to giggle more each day in reaction to people and things. She has legs as strong as a horse and loves to constantly be standing up on them (of course she has no balance yet, so it's gets a little exhausting after a while to balance her all the time but I just keep dreaming that all this will one day give me those slim arms I desire! :-) ) She also is an incredibly curious and focused girl. She is constantly bending forward to reach for anything that attracts her attention. Probably just a few weeks away from sitting up on her own. She has done it a few times briefly, but hasn't quite figured out the logistics yet. She rolled over twice a few weeks ago, but hasn't done it since.
Probably the most precious thing going on right now is her desire to constantly snuggle and show her affection towards me. When I come toward her, she has begun to hold her arms and legs straight out and roll over towards me to hug my face and it just melts my heart. She sends me these smiley gazes and closes her eyes when I give her little kisses and I feel like I must be doing something right if I can actually start to see and feel the love my daughter already has for me. Spending the amount of time we do together has been a dream come true. I hope I always will have this kind of time for her. My job really allows me to have such a flexible schedule and I am only really "gone" working a few times a month. I don't ever want to give up my career, but I do struggle with wanting to be a full time mom at times. I realize it could be way worse so I am grateful for the situation I have right now.
I do notice that Lana is already developing a real attachment to me, which worries me sometimes because I never want her to be one of those babies that no one can hold because she is overly attached to "mommy". However, then I think about how she is constantly exposed to so many people (Chris of course, my mom, my dad, my sisters, my grandmothers, grandfather, in-laws, etc) and I realize she is just going through that "stranger anxiety" phase and it will soon pass when she starts to understand who all these other people are in her life. I must admit, it does make me feel good inside that my baby prefers me over anyone else right now...probably because I know it won't last forever. Soon enough she will be sick of me and be a Daddy's Girl I'm sure.
It is just amazing to me that this baby is already 5 months old when I feel like I just brought her home from the hospital! Now she is almost ready to crawl, and entertains me with her new found accomplishments each day. I feel as though she has been here for only moments, and at the same time I feel like I don't even remember what life was like before her. My dad said it is because she just fits so perfectly into our lives as if she was meant to be here. And ya know what? He's completely right. She has been a perfect fit in Chris & my life, and I know my entire family would agree with that. It's funny, the one piece of "advice" I get from EVERYONE (strangers in the supermarket, people in a checkout line, random accuaintances, etc) is to, "cherish every moment". I must say that as cliche as it sounds it has really stuck with me. Each day, if I am either snuggling with Lana, making her laugh with a silly song I made up, changing her diaper, or comforting her while she's being fussy, I find myself saying, "cherish every moment".
I really do.
That is what it's all about. These are my cherishing moment(s) and my attempts to capture what I can so when I'm old and grey I can look back and say, "oh yeah...that was such a special, crazy, stressful, eventful, amazing time."
It is hard to believe this little baby is five months old already. It seems we waited so long for her to come into our lives and when she finally did, she was welcomed with so much love. Lana came into this family when there was much sadness and changes from within. She came in the world yelling and demanding our attention, which was easy. Being blessed by being this little girls grandma, and seeing her enter this world, is a true dream. She is everything perfect. I am so lucky to have Candice and Chris allow me to share so much of her life. I remember every detail of my own three births of my beautiful girls. Now having my daughter give birth, become a mommy, and watch her BE a mommy, is amazing! Candice is a natural. I love when she calls for advice. I offer what I can, but not when not asked. I will NOT be that grandma! When she first smiled at me and reached out and grabbed my fingers, I was in tears. God! I have seriously been crying since Candice and Chris got married, told me I am going to be a grandma, and now Lana is here! I have not stopped crying! But these happy tears are happy.
ReplyDeleteI am honored to be Lana's grandma. I will always be here for her and her parents. So much to look forward too. She is a beautiful blessing. She is in a family of strong women. She is already falling into her own strength. Really, everyone must see this child. Because when you do, you will understand perfection when her smile is lighting up the room!
Wow mom, such glowing compliments! Thank you!! Lana will always have a wonderful relationship with you and I love that. I look forward to you watching her grow with us. XOXO :)
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