Baby's Beauty Sleep Zzzzzzzz.... (UPDATED!! See below)

  This topic has come up a lot lately, and I have to say it is a topic that is on my mind daily: Baby sleep. We all know sleep is critical for baby's brain & body development. Not only the sleep they get at night, but daytime naps are very important as well. (especially if they don't get much at night) Experts also say that the type of sleeper your baby is as an infant will pretty much be the sleeper they will continue to be into their childhood. So how do we make sure we are setting them up for being that successful sleeper?

  Overall I have been incredibly lucky with Lana, She gets a good amount of sleep every day. I'm not sure if it's because that is just the baby she IS, or if I am doing something right. (I'd like think it's a bit of both). I've done a lot of research about baby sleep schedules and it makes sense for mom's to be concerned and want to educate themselves about it because their sleep habits basically now dictate our sleep habits! But as wonderful a sleeper that she is now, am I setting myself up for disaster later?? There are a few things I am not very strict about when it comes to her sleep and I do question some of my tactics...you be the judge.

  This is a summary of what I have experienced with Lana so far: As a newborn she slept in our room in a bassinet for the first 12 weeks. Those first 12 weeks she was waking every 3 to eat and at night the longest she slept was about 5-6 hours (and that was only a few nights here & there). When we moved her into her crib, the first night she slept 11 hours straight. The second night, 12 hours! WOW! Maybe we were keeping her up! Currently at 7 months old she sleeps a solid 10 hours straight consistently.

 This is the thing I struggle with, and I know other moms worry about it: nursing your baby to sleep. Since I am still breastfeeding Lana, it's hard to not think about the fact that every book I have read says NOT to continue to nurse them to sleep or they will be dependent on it. I think if you are careful, it can be done without making them too dependent.

 This is Lana's bedtime routine: 8:30pm every night we go to her nursery, maybe read a book, turn down the lights, I nurse her in the glider chair and after a full feeding, she starts to fall asleep. I place her in her crib which wakes her up a bit (which is what I want to do), I give her kisses and walk away immediately. She wiggles around in her crib a bit but within minutes she is asleep. Generally she will not wake up until 6:30-8:00am the next morning. The reason I say I want to wake her up a bit, is because I want her to be sleepy yet aware of the fact that she is in her crib by herself. If I put her in her crib at a dead sleep too often, she won't like waking up alone in her crib. This way she knows it's a place of sleep and comfort, not a punishment. The reason I say that I walk away immediately, is because I have found that if she gazes over at me in a sleepy daze, she will start crying. If I walk away she seems to have no problem putting herself to sleep. Whatever I can do to keep her in this bedtime routine is key! It seems like at 8:29pm she is rubbing her eyes as if she knows it's time for bed. If we go out somewhere where we are not going to be home by 8:30pm, I have noticed that she will fight falling asleep, but the second we get home and I go through the bedtime routine, she falls right into it, no matter what the time is. I try to avoid keeping her out late unless it is a special occasion. She prefers her routine for sure.

 There are some nights where she will wake up after a few hours (around 12am) crying and Chris & I usually wait about 5-10 minutes letting her cry, then if she is still crying or getting hysterical, I will go comfort her. I used to just nurse her back to sleep, but I know how bad that is, so I recently have been just walking around silently with her, comforting her with kisses and not really say anything to her so she will stay sleepy. It has surprisingly worked! In fact, I found that if I sit in the glider chair with her and cradle her, she thinks she is going to get fed, so I make sure to just walk around with her. After about 5-10 minutes when I can tell she is sleepy, I put her back in her crib, kiss her, and walk away. Seems to work.

 I know all babies are different, so I know some mothers do not have it as easy. I have found on those rare nights when Lana is being difficult, we have done a little bit of the "cry it out" method". I personally find it cruel if not done in moderation. We will let her cry at night no more than 10 minutes. If she is still crying, we will go up and comfort her. If she gets hysterical at any point, even if it's in the first 5 minutes, I will go to her. (sometimes it can be that she just has a gas bubble trapped because she will burps when I pick her up)

• Babies wake up frequently during the night and can sometimes be awake for up to an hour before falling back asleep on their own. But they will fall back asleep on their own if left alone. I've tested this with Lana many times.
• Some babies NEED to cry themselves to sleep a bit. It is part of the "winding down" process for some babies. Lana is one of those babies. And because I have learned that, I have come to EXPECT her fussing a bit before naptime and sometimes bedtime. I let her fuss and cry a bit when she's lying down. She eventually falls asleep. I also can tell her "tired" cry which sounds nothing like her cries of pain or frustration.
• Babies are creatures of habit, so if you want them to do something different, you have to make it part of the routine. Keep at it until it baby accepts it as the routine. Some babies take longer than others to adapt, but no baby is immune from routine.
• Keep your baby on the "Eat, Play, Sleep" routine. In that order during the day. (I will explain why this is WONDERFUL below) 
• It's important to not be super strict about your routine. Your baby (and you) need to learn how to roll with the punches. Those parents that don't leave their baby because they don't want to mess up his "schedule" are in big trouble when life throws them a crazy day. Baby won't know how to deal with it and can become very upset. It doesn't give you much room for having a life either! Not good for you, or the baby. You have to be flexible!

 I have adapted the Eat, Play, Sleep routine after reading a few books with this philosophy and I have to say it's just common sense. They wake up and eat. After they eat, you have some playtime and they naturally wear themselves out and get tired (so they fall asleep). They repeat this process all day long. But you have to give them some guidance. Lana is in such a great habit of this, but I make sure we do some sort of activity after I nurse her. She will play for a few hours, then she gets sleepy and I put down for a nap. The "Play" part can be any type of activity from toys, to reading books, to a bath, to going on a walk, etc. Mix it up! (Lana is a very short napper, but it doesn't worry me because she sleeps so much at night) The only change I make to this philosophy is at night. The time when she goes from play to sleep, I also add in the last feeding of the day. (even if it hasn't been too long since she last ate) She will still fill herself up and be good for the night. So far this has worked great for us. I have an idea of what to expect from her because she has become a bit predictable. It's so much easier to also plan my day and have a life! It's a loose routine that my husband or any sitter can replicate with her as well.

  A few issues that I run into is that putting her down for a nap can be a struggle about 50% of the time. I have to lay with her sometimes and I know that's not the best thing to do, but I am guilty as charged. This has nothing to do with her routine not working, it's just the kind of baby she is. She's 7 months old so the world is so exciting to her. She is so curious that is hard for her to want to miss out on something. When she was a newborn she would sleep anywhere and through anything. Now she is much more sensitive to sounds when she sleeps. So I have the best luck putting her down in a quiet room with not much going on. If she isn't distracted by sights or sounds, she gets bored and falls asleep pretty fast.

 I believe that the best thing a mom (or dad) can do is really get to know your baby and his/her personality. It will help you realize what your baby needs and works for him/her. In another book I read ("The Baby Whisperer"), the author discusses the 5 baby personality types and if you are honest with yourself about what type of baby you are dealing with, you can learn how to react and care for them in a healthy & productive way.She also mentions that people tend to treat babies without the respect they deserve. Babies are people too! Granted they can't talk, but they have feelings and deserve to be treated with respect just as every human does. The author discusses examples of how many people will do things like change a diaper, change their clothes, put them in a bath tub, put them in their crib without even asking or discussing with the baby what they are doing with them. The world is new to your baby so they don't understand why you are putting a diaper on or taking it off, or putting clothes on them, etc...They may not understand yet what you are saying to them, but it really does make a difference if you lovingly tell your baby what you are doing to them as you are doing it. "We are going to change your diaper, ok? This is so you can feel fresh & clean!" or "Let's take these jammies off so we can get dressed for the day, sound good?"

   I have really taken this to heart with Lana. I have had to train my husband to do the same thing. He used to just do things without talking to her and you could see the difference! She seemed more upset and would get fussy & confused. Now he has learned to communicate with her and she's so much happier! The added benefit is that the more you talk to your baby, the more it helps them learn about our language!

 Well, I'm not sure if all of this will help anyone out there, or if anyone has an opinion or tips that worked for them, but I'd love to hear it! Having the perfect kid that goes to sleep without a fuss every night is not realistic, there will always be struggles. Good nights & bad. As adults we are the same way. But I hope that at the very least, any parent will try to get to know their baby and make the effort to get them into a healthy sleep routine. Babies deserve their beauty sleep and so do WE! :)

Best of luck to all!


*******UPDATE********

Hello all!

 Well..within the last week or so in my writing this last blog, Lana has decided to turn our world upside down in her sleep habits. Let me just say, just when you think you know your baby- they like to change the game and confuse you even more! (HA!)

 So at just a week shy of 8 months old, Lana is now having some major difficulties sleeping through the night. Let me back up a bit.

 In the last few weeks Lana has been making some great strides with her new mobile skills. She has now mastered rolling from her back to her stomach quickly so that she can sit herself up. She has begun crawling backwards (which supposedly happens first for most babies before they crawl forward), and on top of that, she has already learned to pull herself to stand up and will hold onto things on her own to stand. She also is getting better at taking "walking steps" when she holds onto my hands. So, LOTS of new and exciting things she is experiencing. She would rather practice her new found skills over playing with toys....which makes me a bit nuts sometimes. She's all over the place!

 So as these things are happening, her sleep is getting really disrupted. (I'm pretty sure they are related) Almost every night she will wake up every few hours by rolling over on her stomach and start dragging herself all over her crib. She rolls back and forth, she will sit herself up, she will try to stand up in her crib, play with anything she can find (a pacifier, her baby monitor!, etc). Most of the time she will be half asleep when she does this. Once she rolls over on her belly, she will cry and wake herself up more. If I don't go in there to catch her while she is still really sleepy, she will become more awake and she has stayed up for up to 2 hours in her crib! (that was last night, people) When I go to her room and find her sitting up playing, she smiles and giggles and thinks it's playtime! How does she have this energy?? It's not even like she sleeps a lot during the day.

 My goal when Lana goes through some big change is to quickly figure out how to fix or adjust the problem. I try to figure her out and try a few different tactics. Most of the time I have been successful, but I'm a little stumped on this one... (ANY INPUT OR SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME!)

 What I have tried so far is: (sometimes all in the same night!)

• Letting her cry it out & roll around hoping she will get tired and fall back asleep on her own
• Walking around with her cuddled in my arms until she gets sleepy again
• Nursing her to get her sleepy again
• Keeping her in her crib and just putting my hand on her tummy to try to soothe her
• If it's early morning (5 am or later), we will bring her into our bed to sleep with us for a few more hours

All of these have helped get her BACK to sleep, but how do I prevent the constant wake-ups?? Maybe there is nothing I can do, maybe it will pass. But UGGH! The energy it zaps out of me (and sometimes Chris) My biggest concern is that she isn't getting enough sleep that she needs. If it's normal then I wouldn't be too concerned but I'd like to do my part in getting her back on track if it's a possibility.

 I guess all I can do is keep up what I am doing and hope for the best?? A tired new mommy's dream, I guess :)

Making Marriage the #1 Priority

 I am going to preface that every marriage and relationship is different, so my opinions are based on a specific family dynamic, but a lot of my thoughts can still apply no matter what your marital status is.


 I think there are a lot of people out there who think that the kids should come first in the "Priority Totem Pole" of life. Sorry...but married couples would be absolutely foolish to do so.

 Shortly after Chris and I were married and we talked about having kids, I told him that we needed to make a pact that our marriage came first, and kids second. His immediate reaction was that I was nuts and we would be completely selfish to think that way.  When I explained my logic, it was almost as if I flicked that light bulb on in his head! "Ohhh....that makes a lot of sense! I never thought of it that way"

 Let's get real, people who make their kids their entire life usually end up divorced or in a loveless marriage. Summary: alone. Wouldn't you agree?? Let's face it, if you throw your entire focus and energy into your kids, it becomes incredibly easy to neglect your marriage. If you neglect your marriage, the kids suffer, bottom line. The people who stay in a loveless marriage and decide to "wait it out for the kids" and stay until their kids are older to divorce are fools. Kids are so much more intelligent and intuitive than adults give them credit for and you are doing a grave injustice to your children. Growing up in a household where there is animosity and an unhealthy relationship brewing between the parents can really mess with a kids head! Not to mention effect how they view and participate in future relationships. Kids are also very resiliant to adapting to their environment the younger they are, so if you are 100% sure your marriage is over, get it over with even if they are young. My mom's first divorce (I was 8 years old, sister 6 yrs.) was not tramatic on me and my sister at all. My mom's divroce to husband #2 (I was about 20, sister about 18) tramatic. Ripped our world apart. Now, I'm the LAST one condoning divorce. I strongly believe that marriage is "till death do you part. There are only a handful of reasons that I think are acceptable to end a marriage (but that's a whole other blog) And don't get me wrong, I firmly believe that single and divorced parents can provide a wonderful, loving environment for their children- being a product of divorced parents myself. It just takes mature, responsible adults to make it happen. But I think most would agree, that rare happy marriage that lasts 50+ years would be a wonderful bonus for any child to witness.

 So ultimately marriage needs that TLC to keep the love and connection strong. I consider myself extremely lucky to not only have married a man that is open and will communicate with me (even if it's 4 am) but he truly cherishes being a loyal husband and father.

 My logic is this: a happy, healthy marriage makes for happy, emotionally healthy kids.

 I'm not gunna lie...even with the wonderful relationship I have with my husband, I do periodically find challenges in putting marriage first being a new mom. But that is why marriage is work, people! Example: Moving Lana from her snuggly bassinet nestled right next to me, and into the big, beautiful crib in her nursery. I knew as much as Chris loved Lana, he was feeling the need to get our bedroom back to just the two of us (and I'm not doing ANY funny business with my baby next to us!) I knew it was one of those moments that I have been "preaching" about, so...Marriage first. We made the decision together to make the move. I was a little sad the first night, I missed rolling over and seeing my beautiful baby girl right there next to me. But there ended up being so many positives from this decision, it was definitely the right thing to do! Not only did Chris and I enjoy our time alone again, but Lana went from sleeping 4-5 hours straight to sleeping 10-12 hours straight! HELLOOO SLEEP! Welcome back, old friend!! On top of that, it's much healthier to not get your baby too attached to sleeping with mommy & daddy for too long. I want her to be a wonderful, independent sleeper. (and she already is) So, marriage challenge #1- DONE!

 Probably the most typical example of having quality time with your partner is Date Night. It works for most couples, and we are definitely in that pool. And it is hard. It's hard to leave your child, but it is so important! Not only to spend some much deserved alone time with your partner, but if you start when they are young, they will realize that when you leave, you are coming back! It helps with separation anxiety that 99% of kids experience. This way it won't be a total nightmare, crying fit and massive guilt trip just to get a few hours with your hubby. Actually, Chris and I left Lana when she was only 3 weeks old with my little sister to go to dinner and a movie. That might sound crazy because she was so young, but even more so why it worked so well! Newborns sleep a LOT, so it was great to go out to dinner and just talk. It really started to sink in that "Wow! We have a baby waiting for us at home right now...we are PARENTS! So amazing!! How are you feeling about all of this?"  Of course we now like to reserve our Date Nights to not solely chat about the baby. It's so important for us to have other things to talk about besides Lana's poop and that cute new squeak sound she makes when you play with her. And when life gets crazy, and you are stuck without a sitter, we have cheated and toted Lana along for the ride to the new hip gastro pub or our favorite sushi joint. Somehow she's been so well behaved at this age we can get away with it. (plus- we've got to groom her for her culinary infused world ahead :) )

I know as Lana gets older and Chris & I have more children, there are going to be countless obstacles to overcome and tough marriage decisions we will have to make. Traveling without the kids can also be very difficult. That is something that I haven't experienced it yet (not until Lana is completely weaned from being breastfed) but that day is coming and I know it will be bittersweet. Not only is it difficult to think of leaving your little one(s) overnight, but having someone you trust watch them and know they are in great hands. Even though I will probably cry in those first moments of leaving, I REFUSE to be one of those parents that never leave their child! It's just not healthy... I want Lana to know that mommy and daddy need their time together alone so that they can come home and be the loving, solid foundation she will grow to appreciate and rely on.

 I know that Chris and I have been together for just over 5 years (married for just over 2), and this is our first child so you may think "easier said then done" with a lot of this stuff. But this is what I signed up for! A successful marriage takes effort from both parties and I think if Chris and I can get into a groove with how we raise Lana and how we deal with our marriage, then we will have a much better chance of having a lasting, loving marriage. Most importantly, we practice what we preach for years to come. :)

Baby Food= Flavor?? I think so!!

 So I read the most interesting article about how we are one of the few cultures that feed our babies bland baby food. We cook down fruits and veggies until they are a nice mush with no other seasonings or flavor. It used to be that we thought babies under 1 year old should not be introduced to herbs and spices in case of developing allergies and that simply isn't the case. Complete fiction. Babies can not only have herbs like cilantro, parsley, dill, thyme, etc..but they can even have spices like curry and cinnamon! Many babies also love sour fruits (cherries, plums), stewed meats and whole grains like quinoa. They actually say that it sets up your child to be a more adventurous eater!

 Obviously being a chef, what Lana and all my future children eat will always be a huge priority to me. I want them to eat well. Not only eat well, but have a diversified palate. No canned baby food for them! My mom made all of our baby food when we were growing up and I think if you are able to do it, you should. It is not only great for the child, but gives you better piece of mind of what you are putting into your child's tummy. And now knowing that I don't have to be afraid to feed her things like garlic, bok choy or even roasted cauliflower excites me even more. Chris jokes with me that when Lana is 5 or 6 she will come home from a friends house and tell us how Suzy's mom doesn't even put rendered pancetta in her brussel sprouts. HA! If I do my job right, I hope that happens!

 When you think about all the countries that have been raising their babies on chiles, spices & herbs it makes me wonder why we never embraced that? Maybe because American food is more based on fat than spice & herbs? Think about it: American food- burgers, grilled cheese, mash potatoes, ranch dressing?? These are "American foods" and there is no real spice or signature flavor except fat. (don't get me wrong, I LOVE it all, but we are somewhat lacking in the "spice" department). Indian food- Garam Masala, flavorful chutneys, curry, coriander, turmeric, etc. Mediterranean food- Basil, Fennel, Oregano, Dill, Chervil...

  It actually makes me cringe a little bit thinking about the child's diet that consists of buttered pasta noodles, chicken nuggets, and mac & cheese. But sadly those are the only foods a lot of toddlers in America will eat because foods with spice and flavor combinations are foreign to them and most kids are not naturally adventurous eaters. You know who I'm talking about...there are SOO many kids out there like that. Parents like to blame the kids for only eating certain foods, but they are KIDS! They only know the habits they are taught. These are the folks that say they have to hide what vegetables little Billy eats because he thinks they are "gross". Really?? Then you are either not cooking them correctly (most likely the case), or you allow your child to believe the stigma related to flavorful foods outside of his comfort zone, Billy's mom I blame you! Or just all around parent laziness. Not learning how to cook for your kids is pretty lame to me. Especially now a days with all the TV shows, websites and tools out there that make it super easy even for a complete novice! I probably could have been a kid like that if my dad & step dad didn't love to cook and introduce us to flavorful foods. Luckily I wasn't, but it is amazing how a child's diet can really effect the way he looks at food the rest of his life! With childhood obesity being such a struggle in our culture, it is more important than ever to expose your child to a variety of healthy foods and new taste experiences!

 Well, all I know is I am happy to embrace this new discovery and test it out on Lana. Obviously you have to use common sense when feeding new foods to your baby. All the items should be soft enough so that baby doesn't choke. Pureed, chopped or ground depending on your babies eating skills. And you should only introduce new foods one item at a time (every 3-4 days) in case there is an allergy. That way you are able to pin point the food causing the problem. Other than that, I hope this can inspire any parent to give their child a chance at a young age to appreciate quality foods and expand their minds in the culinary world. After all, my philosophy is that if we need food to survive, shouldn't every bite be enjoyable? (hint: the answer is YES!)

My New "Mommy" Life

  Welcome to my Lana baby blog!! After feeling like I don't verbally gush, worry, discuss, examine and chat enough about my beautiful baby Lana, I thought to myself...start a blog and you can do it even more! Ha! What better than a public "journal" about my ever changing angel. A place where my family & friends can see what's new and changing with Lana and a place where maybe even other mommy friends can chat about their little ones, and gush, worry, discuss, examine their own bundles of joy!!

  Well, I'll start the blog off with an update of where Lana & I are at now. Lana is 5 months old. Born Friday May 13th, 2011 at 8:08am. Being born 4 weeks early I was really concerned about how healthy she would be, and if she would have any trouble reaching her milestones. She has amazed me from Day One. She has not only been a healthy girl, she has been developing as if she was never born a preemie! I could not be more proud of this little firecracker. She has shown me that if she wants something, she tries her hardest to make it happen (making her appearance a month early should have given me a clue...)

 Currently Lana is starting to develop her spunky little personality. She is such a happy girl, constantly smiling and starting to giggle more each day in reaction to people and things. She has legs as strong as a horse and loves to constantly be standing up on them (of course she has no balance yet, so it's gets a little exhausting after a while to balance her all the time but I just keep dreaming that all this will one day give me those slim arms I desire! :-) )  She also is an incredibly curious and focused girl. She is constantly bending forward to reach for anything that attracts her attention. Probably just a few weeks away from sitting up on her own. She has done it a few times briefly, but hasn't quite figured out the logistics yet. She rolled over twice a few weeks ago, but hasn't done it since.

 Probably the most precious thing going on right now is her desire to constantly snuggle and show her affection towards me. When I come toward her, she has begun to hold her arms and legs straight out and roll over towards me to hug my face and it just melts my heart. She sends me these smiley gazes and closes her eyes when I give her little kisses and I feel like I must be doing something right if I can actually start to see and feel the love my daughter already has for me.  Spending the amount of time we do together has been a dream come true. I hope I always will have this kind of time for her. My job really allows me to have such a flexible schedule and I am only really "gone" working a few times a month. I don't ever want to give up my career, but I do struggle with wanting to be a full time mom at times. I realize it could be way worse so I am grateful for the situation I have right now.

 I do notice that Lana is already developing a real attachment to me, which worries me sometimes because I never want her to be one of those babies that no one can hold because she is overly attached to "mommy". However, then I think about how she is constantly exposed to so many people (Chris of course, my mom, my dad, my sisters, my grandmothers, grandfather, in-laws, etc) and I realize she is just going through that "stranger anxiety" phase and it will soon pass when she starts to understand who all these other people are in her life. I must admit, it does make me feel good inside that my baby prefers me over anyone else right now...probably because I know it won't last forever. Soon enough she will be sick of me and be a Daddy's Girl I'm sure.

 It is just amazing to me that this baby is already 5 months old when I feel like I just brought her home from the hospital! Now she is almost ready to crawl, and entertains me with her new found accomplishments each day. I feel as though she has been here for only moments, and at the same time I feel like I don't even remember what life was like before her. My dad said it is because she just fits so perfectly into our lives as if she was meant to be here. And ya know what? He's completely right. She has been a perfect fit in Chris & my life, and I know my entire family would agree with that. It's funny, the one piece of "advice" I get from EVERYONE (strangers in the supermarket, people in a checkout line, random accuaintances, etc) is to, "cherish every moment". I must say that as cliche as it sounds it has really stuck with me. Each day, if I am either snuggling with Lana, making her laugh with a silly song I made up, changing her diaper, or comforting her while she's being fussy, I find myself saying, "cherish every moment".

  I really do.

 That is what it's all about. These are my cherishing moment(s) and my attempts to capture what I can so when I'm old and grey I can look back and say, "oh yeah...that was such a special, crazy, stressful, eventful, amazing time."